The Good Confetti
by Photic
Summary: A random one-shot I decided to send in. Inspired from a picture. Chell gets a surprise from GLaDOS, but whether it has tragic consequences or not? Find out. Spoilers for the game are in this, so if you haven't played, don't read please.


Chell didn't see the trap door open up below her; it appeared as swiftly and suddenly as a gust of recycled carbon dioxide wind, and caught her as quickly as a thermal discouragement beam. Her balance was up-ended and she fell with all the grace of a defective turret, bouncing off the walls like a ragdoll, her body uncontrollable and uncomprehending of the situation she was in. Finally with an exasperating gravitational pull, her long-fall boots' technology kicked in and she made impact with the hard, metal ground, a ringing CLANG punctuating the otherwise uncomfortable silence of the chamber she was now within.

Exhausted, she ended up falling on her butt anyways, despite the knee replacements.

Cool, hard metal felt icy to the touch, a sign that she wasn't on the main testing track, which had usually warmed with the hum of reactor core energy flowing through the grid. This place was unnaturally dark, and Chell could just make out the office space around her. She was in a lobby of some sort, a tiny cramped office lobby with nothing more then a red telephone at the side. As her eyes adjusted she pulled herself away from the ground and stood up on sore legs, taking in the new chamber with a selective eye, picking out from the otherwise overwhelming atmosphere a small panel of white. A portal panel as she came to call it. Locating nothing, she sighed, letting nature take its course.

GLaDOS usually spoke within ten minutes of reaching an inescapable testing site. It'd come to be a reliance in some of her most terrible puzzles.

Finally, within seven minutes, the voice spoke, in a pleasant tone that completely masked the malice of the evil AI within. "Oh, so you've managed to pass the test." She spoke cheerily as Chell stared to the blackness, tense and ready for anything. "I guess we can just go on with the next test, or you can stay forever in this pit, reminiscing about the time you murdered me, or the time you threw the moron into space. Important memories to think about, I'm sure, but I have a better idea."

A tube lowered into the facility. Chell stared at it, waiting for a cube to drop. Nothing came.

"How about we settle on a surprise?" GLaDOS mused. "I could tell you about your mother's choice to abandon you on a doorstep. Or I could send you a postcard from the Space Core. Maybe watch a documentary on the killing machines I'm planning on using to destroy women with unfortunate bone structures? So many choices..."

A whirring noise as the tube began to activate.

"No, I have a better idea of what to do. How about a real surprise? With tragic consequences?"

Chell was not fast enough to hold on as the pneumatic diversity vent pulled her inside. The strong current of air sucked her in and began pumping her through Aperture Labs, her body flailing in the vents as GLaDOS's mocking laughter filled her ears.

"Yes. A surprise is perfect for you, you monster."

Once again the long fall boots stepped in at just the right time, sending Chell smacking into the floor, stumbling and falling on her knees as she coughed the last of the dust from her throat. She had been tumbling across the vents for a long time, longer than she had thought it would take to reach GLaDOS's control chamber. But now here she was, and she had her portal gun in tow.

But like the last chamber she had been inside, the room was without a single white surface.

She didn't like these games GLaDOS was forcing upon her. The AI had been so content to let her test without any interruptance, a repetitive cycle that had been nothing short of welcoming for the human, who didn't want to have to go through the same mocking tone from before. But the AI had seemingly forgotten all of Caroline's influence, and was now content to speak in the same passive-agressive tone, and make sure Chell knew just how angry she was about killing her, and how she had cleverly designed a couple of testing bots ( and a couple of birds ) that were hellbent on destroying her. It was a welcome back that deserved nothing short of a couple of sighs and huffs, and a lying promise for cake.

And now maybe she had followed through this time, despite all those insults. Today was finally the day when the AI stopped barking and started biting, ready to surely kill her, and without any portals to help her.

The chamber looked different; another remodeling done by GLaDOS to suit her ever changing likings. This time, a barrage of monitors hung from the pillar like walls, panels all over the place and the AI herself hanging from a plethora of wiring. She was moving the floor, bringing Chell closer to her large, mechanical form. Chell was rocked from the unsteady floor and slid to a sitting position, awaiting the obvious.

If GLaDOS had a mouth Chell would expect it to be grinning. A large tube hung close to the test subject, and when she looked up into its darkness, she could almost feel the neurotoxin gliding into her nostrils. GLaDOS swung herself towards Chell and gave a small hum. "I bet you're wondering about the surprise. I made it special for you, from a culminating achievement that took only two hours of the killing machine's testing to find. I promise it will be missed, but enjoyed immensely."

Chell snorted. As if that could happen here. What was it, the last batch of poison? A box of grenades?

"In fact, I made sure it was the last batch. I checked everywhere to make sure it was all I had, and could only be used when the time called for it, and now I've reserved it for you. For science purposes of course." She glowered down at Chell then, her helm sliding over her optic to look angry. "I've had so much trouble locating the surprise itself. GPS, satelites, marshmallows. An effort which took ages to pursue. But I can finally say it is over and done with. And now I'll send it to you."

A heavy CLANK as the tube began to move. Inside, a circular object began to move through the vent, moving towards the opening. Chell stared, ready for a bomb, or a turret.

"I hope you're happy, you mute lunatic."

"CATCH ME CATCH ME CATCH ME CATCH ME" The surprise screamed before smashing into the ground beside Chell. Chell, hearing the voice grabbed her portal gun and stared, her expression full of surprise. The surprise rolled over the floor, handle's able to steady it as it stared back to Chell. And then it spoke. "Chell...?"

Wheatley. Chell scooped up the metal ball, held it. He had been taken back. From space. As he began apologizing, rambling about his time in space she hugged him, cutting him off completely.

At the same time, a flurry of confetti fell from the tube. GLaDOS watched, then turned away, deciding to leave them to their hugging. The screens next to her flickered on, as she narrowed her optics, wondering what had caused her to decide to send back the moron, and what had caused her to give her last bag of real confetti away to the test subject she was planning to kill.

"That was the good confetti you know, you monster."


End file.
